When I first entered, I felt like a student joining a school for the first time. My legs were shaking and I was breathing very fast. I've been questioning myself all morning: Should I wear this or that? Should I put on high heels or flats? What gifts shall I take to my kids? Which perfume? Should I park outside or underground? Behind all these meaningless questions was a main one: Do I really want to go?
I reached during break time. I entered and my eyes were gazing at my kids. H recognized me immediately and she was jumping out of her wheelchair! G was very shy. S realized I was somewhere in his memory, but it took him a while to find me. The rest of our sections' kids were simply happy. I was happy.
Everything felt so...normal...typical...it was like I've been away for a day or 2. I put on my working coat and went back to work so smoothly. I did the same on day 2. Its funny coz I thought I'll get a reality shock again after all the pinky-ness that I was living in at the UK. But no, it wasn't reality shock. In fact, reality has never left me. I had to hang on to this reality because THIS is what I wana change. So, to all my dear friends who think that I'm 'too good' to be in this center: its where I belong. These are my children, my people, my country. I'm not saying I'll be there forever. I'm just saying that Allah knows best, and shall leave when its the right time to leave.
