Attacked

Sometimes I wonder about how would I feel if I lost the ability to move, touch, talk, see, or hear. And most importantly, I wonder about how will I be able to communicate when letters aren't even part of my speech. If it is actually hard to communicate when you have the letters, words, and speech, how about when you have NONE of these?! Getting aggressive is the first sign of not being able to communicate to others. Imagine being part of this scene. You're very thirsty, and the only person who sells water is a person who has absolutely no idea about your language, or the usual universal signs which shows that you actually need water. First of all, I'll try to explain using my very own signs, or ways to communicate. Then, I'll get so frustrated. Finally, I'll end up either killing him or taking a bottle of water by force.

An important aspect of being in the field of special education is to place yourself in your student's shoes. Thats the only way in which u'll be able to understand your student's needs. After R's first attack, I went through a hard time trying to let go of that feeling of GUILT. She must've wanted something. Or she should've been in some kind of pain. Those bruises left a mark not only on my body, but in my heart. I woke up every morning thinking of the plan I have for her to assist with her communication skills. Will it work out? What if it didn't? Whats my alternative plan? What could she possibly want to communicate? Would it be something like learning a new language? At the moment, all the books and readings didn't matter anymore. Although I read so much about tantrums, it was different when it was REAL. It's either you stand up and control the situation, or things would get worse and you mark it as a FAILURE for the rest of your life. Yes, I did control the situation. It was my only choice.

I started writing the BIP for my Barbie boy. And i did discover much more to his behavior than what was clear to me in the beginning! I just started today, and the first reason to his behavior is: US! We actually reinforce his behavior! Its amazing how observations reveal so much about a student's behavior. I was also able to see his smart side. He knows whats going around. And he is aware of what other people are talking about. The only thing I missed today was his TANTRUM. I left the classroom for a second. I come back and its a big chaos. I have no idea about what happened, how it happened, and why it happened. A's tantrum is somehow different than R. Its kinda worse. HE BITES. But this time I was ready with 3 assistants holding him.

Oh god so much to deal with!!! I do have 4 students. Each student has a 10 academic issues, 10 emotional issues, and a 100 behavior issues.