I chose to stay away.
Right now, all I'm thinking of is H, G, & my little M. No R. No A. Or at least, not that much. Ofcourse it took a lot of time to convince myself that it was for the best. I had to re-evaluate my priorities and place them in the right order. That it was a hopeless situation for R and A based on my past experience working with their families, especially when A came back this year with the same exact behavior of last year, and R coming to school once a week.
Working with 3 students is much more fun than having 5 at the same time. Well, fun isn't the right word, but it made my days at school go in a much more organized way, which is what I really really really needed. PLUS, my students are developing at a MUCH faster rate, which is very positive!
Other than that, I have stopped teaching since around 3 weeks because of our PLAY. Its what everyone at the center AND ministry has been talking about and waiting for. 18th of December, thats the date when our students will get the chance to walk on stage and to be clapped for, for the very first time in their lives. And I'm so glad I'll be a part of it.
So, work. I love teaching. I love my students. Got the point. But I feel there's something missing. Although I'm going to those so-called workshops and all, but I'm not learning. I'm not developing. I'm still reading books, and digging in all the possible topics related to the field of special needs, but I'm not learning. Not the kind of learning that would provide me with the experience I need. What I want is hands on experience, working with professionals, trying out new strategies and creating ones! Everything seems to be so limited where I stand right now. Its like Im just giving and teaching and teaching and teaching.
My conclusion is: I will never ever reach what I want if I stay where I am.
My decision is: Leave once I get the chance to.
And by chance, I mean a chance for me to be in a place where I can learn, develop, and be creative. Thats my decision. For now.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Another challenge
A lot of drama & action has been going on lately which made me reach to the point when I had to shout out loud: I'VE HAD ENOUGH!
So the new teacher I mentioned earlier left our section & took one of my students (el7imdilla) since she's gonna be teaching a regular KG classroom. BUT another teacher was moved from another section into ours, which was VERY VERY UNFORTUNATE.
I divided the class again, and I am teaching now H, G, & M, whereas the other teacher is supposedly teaching H & A. She never stops complaining, crying, shouting all the time about how much she hates the director, and in an indirect way, the whole section. She teaches for half an hour in the morning, and another half an hour at the end of the day. She always threatens to leave and resign.
Its horrible.
I feel so bad to leave my very own beloved students with her. A never stops spitting in her classroom as she can't seem to handle him, or even WANT to have him in her class. It has become a personal battle between her and the director and I don't really know if I should be part of it and beg the director to kick her out of the section.
I'm very confused. Should I fight to have my students back in my class which would be a class of 5? Or should I stay away of it and leave it up to the director, since she always says "students come first" ?
Its so hard for me to stay away especially since A is really frustrated and looks like he's going back to what he was before. And I also think it would be hard for the director to look like a loser in that battle and break her very own rules.
I don't really know what to do.
So the new teacher I mentioned earlier left our section & took one of my students (el7imdilla) since she's gonna be teaching a regular KG classroom. BUT another teacher was moved from another section into ours, which was VERY VERY UNFORTUNATE.
I divided the class again, and I am teaching now H, G, & M, whereas the other teacher is supposedly teaching H & A. She never stops complaining, crying, shouting all the time about how much she hates the director, and in an indirect way, the whole section. She teaches for half an hour in the morning, and another half an hour at the end of the day. She always threatens to leave and resign.
Its horrible.
I feel so bad to leave my very own beloved students with her. A never stops spitting in her classroom as she can't seem to handle him, or even WANT to have him in her class. It has become a personal battle between her and the director and I don't really know if I should be part of it and beg the director to kick her out of the section.
I'm very confused. Should I fight to have my students back in my class which would be a class of 5? Or should I stay away of it and leave it up to the director, since she always says "students come first" ?
Its so hard for me to stay away especially since A is really frustrated and looks like he's going back to what he was before. And I also think it would be hard for the director to look like a loser in that battle and break her very own rules.
I don't really know what to do.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Where's my beginning?
A month has passed since my last post about my "new beginning", BUT, my beginning hasn't started yet!
Since the last month, I've been trying to feel enthusiastic again about my whole teaching experience. I've been feeling down, still lost, and annoyed by all the things going on at the center. I was also feeling so guilty about not being my full self for my students, but I hope I had my reasons.
Back to the present, and today in specific, I've been told that a new teacher is coming and I'm supposed to divide the class into 2. After all the hard work and preparations, 3 students (or 1) are leaving me, and when was I told? after more than a month. In fact, I was supposed to know about this since last term, but whom am I talking to?!
Anyways, so I divided the class into 2! H, A, & R in one class, and the other will have G & 2 more new students. Now it's REALLY hard for me to choose between them. I need to sort out my mind and list down the reasons on which I should base my decision upon.
CLASS (1): H,R,A
I am very confused, very very very confused. It's so hard to give up any of them, but again, I'm not supposed to get THAT emotionally attached to them, because I'll have to leave them sooner or later.
Since the last month, I've been trying to feel enthusiastic again about my whole teaching experience. I've been feeling down, still lost, and annoyed by all the things going on at the center. I was also feeling so guilty about not being my full self for my students, but I hope I had my reasons.
Back to the present, and today in specific, I've been told that a new teacher is coming and I'm supposed to divide the class into 2. After all the hard work and preparations, 3 students (or 1) are leaving me, and when was I told? after more than a month. In fact, I was supposed to know about this since last term, but whom am I talking to?!
Anyways, so I divided the class into 2! H, A, & R in one class, and the other will have G & 2 more new students. Now it's REALLY hard for me to choose between them. I need to sort out my mind and list down the reasons on which I should base my decision upon.
CLASS (1): H,R,A
- I worked VERY hard to achieve their goals last year
- I am able to build on what they have already achieved because I am very aware of their abilities and what theyre capable of
- I will start immediately with their IEP's since I've already finished my assessments and their IEP's
- Working with them is very challenging
- I'm worried that the other teacher might not be happy to be with them because of their limited cognitive skills & behavioral challenges
CLASS (2): G+2 new students
- I am so interested to work with new cases
- I need some CHANGE
- I feel like working with students of a higher level since the Portage curriculum is getting boring
- There's a high chance that one of the new students will get included into a regular school, and INCLUSION is my very beloved area
- Leaving G will be a very painful experience
I am very confused, very very very confused. It's so hard to give up any of them, but again, I'm not supposed to get THAT emotionally attached to them, because I'll have to leave them sooner or later.
A new beginning
I already started my second year of teaching a week ago. Although I have prepared every single thing last term, but I still feel kinda lost. Ofcourse, a lot of that has to do with administrative things; for example: not knowing who my students are for this year, which is the most major thing ever!
Other than that, I have only met H & A until now. H's physical status is worse than last term but she's still a cute social princess. However, A was brainwashed by all the bad language used at home, and thats what I have been listening to ever since he started school! His behavior is still kinda the same, although he spit on me on the very first day, but he had his reasons!
I don't really know why I'm not VERY excited about teaching. Maybe its because I'm confused, its Ramadan, and not all my students showed up. I hope I get the energy I need for this term because there will be LOTS of work, especially if I got new students into my classroom.
Thats my overview for the first week. More weeks to come!
Other than that, I have only met H & A until now. H's physical status is worse than last term but she's still a cute social princess. However, A was brainwashed by all the bad language used at home, and thats what I have been listening to ever since he started school! His behavior is still kinda the same, although he spit on me on the very first day, but he had his reasons!
I don't really know why I'm not VERY excited about teaching. Maybe its because I'm confused, its Ramadan, and not all my students showed up. I hope I get the energy I need for this term because there will be LOTS of work, especially if I got new students into my classroom.
Thats my overview for the first week. More weeks to come!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Year 1
Wow I can't believe how time went fast, and el7imdilla el7imdilla I think I've achieved all my goals!
I have prepared a whole new curriculum for my students, whom will definitely increase in number by next year. The curriculum I chose is very direct and allows to address different goals of different levels. Hope it works out for them!
I have also prepared my students' IEPs (a draft) but again I'll have to edit and edit and edit until I come up with a finalised plan. Ofcourse if I get more students, I'll have to choose less number of goals in order to avoid the pressure of time and focus on the quality of teaching!
Anyways, I do consider my first year of teaching as some kind of traning for me, since I haven't done any of that. Its so hard to make mistakes and think low of yourself, especially since I was able to handle my KG classroom so easily, and I suddenly become a part of a much challenging world, that is very unpredictable...but I can never describe the joy I find in what I do. Its definitely a blessing.
A.. I always try to avoid the feeling of guilt that hunts me whenever I remember the times when I considered him as UN-LEARNABLE. I wanted him out of my classroom. I felt excited about teaching when I came into the classroom and didn't find him. Now, there he is. My biggest achievement. He sits on his chair quietly. He matches colors and shapes. He listens to stories. And more importantly, he recognizes me. He knows that I am there, and will always be. I proved everyone wrong. How did I do it? through love =) that's something I neither learned in books, nor classes. Its through him.
R.. my main goal for her will be to strengthen my relationship with her family, and try to get to know them even more. Otherwise, I'll never be able to achieve anything with her. She obviously goes through so much pain, and I shouldn't allow that to happen anymore.
As for H & G, the 2 little princesses, I'm planning to follow early intervention strategies and achieve as much goals as possible!
I wonder who will be in my class next year. I think I can handle 2 more. I've actually been with all the students who might be admitted in our section. Few are of moderate levels, and most are really severe. I saw this little boy, not sure of his name, but he looked so cute, and he can speak!! Inshalla inshalla I have him in my class next year.
So thats it. I'm done with the traning part, and so ready for the hard-work that awaits next year inshalla. I'm already missing each one of them, and I was planning to call and check on them before I leave for my vacation. But I guess I found my closure on 15/05/08. That was my closure with them, and I wanted it to end there, in order to plan for my beginning.
miss you all
I have prepared a whole new curriculum for my students, whom will definitely increase in number by next year. The curriculum I chose is very direct and allows to address different goals of different levels. Hope it works out for them!
I have also prepared my students' IEPs (a draft) but again I'll have to edit and edit and edit until I come up with a finalised plan. Ofcourse if I get more students, I'll have to choose less number of goals in order to avoid the pressure of time and focus on the quality of teaching!
Anyways, I do consider my first year of teaching as some kind of traning for me, since I haven't done any of that. Its so hard to make mistakes and think low of yourself, especially since I was able to handle my KG classroom so easily, and I suddenly become a part of a much challenging world, that is very unpredictable...but I can never describe the joy I find in what I do. Its definitely a blessing.
A.. I always try to avoid the feeling of guilt that hunts me whenever I remember the times when I considered him as UN-LEARNABLE. I wanted him out of my classroom. I felt excited about teaching when I came into the classroom and didn't find him. Now, there he is. My biggest achievement. He sits on his chair quietly. He matches colors and shapes. He listens to stories. And more importantly, he recognizes me. He knows that I am there, and will always be. I proved everyone wrong. How did I do it? through love =) that's something I neither learned in books, nor classes. Its through him.
R.. my main goal for her will be to strengthen my relationship with her family, and try to get to know them even more. Otherwise, I'll never be able to achieve anything with her. She obviously goes through so much pain, and I shouldn't allow that to happen anymore.
As for H & G, the 2 little princesses, I'm planning to follow early intervention strategies and achieve as much goals as possible!
I wonder who will be in my class next year. I think I can handle 2 more. I've actually been with all the students who might be admitted in our section. Few are of moderate levels, and most are really severe. I saw this little boy, not sure of his name, but he looked so cute, and he can speak!! Inshalla inshalla I have him in my class next year.
So thats it. I'm done with the traning part, and so ready for the hard-work that awaits next year inshalla. I'm already missing each one of them, and I was planning to call and check on them before I leave for my vacation. But I guess I found my closure on 15/05/08. That was my closure with them, and I wanted it to end there, in order to plan for my beginning.
miss you all
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Last Day!
Today is marked as the Last Day for my students on their very first year of school! It has ended with a Parents Meeting that went, kinda well, and lots of hugs & tears.
I don't have much to say. Its just that it would be so hard to come again to school and find the class empty and quiet. But I think I need some time off to reflect on my YEAR ONE of teaching. I've done so many mistakes, yet, I came to discover certain points of strength that I need to build on for my YEAR 2 inshallah.
My plans for the upcoming 6 weeks:
I don't have much to say. Its just that it would be so hard to come again to school and find the class empty and quiet. But I think I need some time off to reflect on my YEAR ONE of teaching. I've done so many mistakes, yet, I came to discover certain points of strength that I need to build on for my YEAR 2 inshallah.
My plans for the upcoming 6 weeks:
- Write down final reports for my students
- Prepare drafts of the IEP for next year
- Clean the classroom
- Decorate the classroom for next year
- Re-arrange the physical environment
- Prepare the units and lesson plans
- Research my students' cases even more
- Read, read, read!
- Publish a post that sums up my first year of teaching :)
I guess this should keep me busy!
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Deceived
I am your voice.
Its interesting how looks and words could be deceiving. Its even more interesting how people can hide beneath a carefully polished surface to make them look more socially accepted or appreciated. Whats not interesting is how a mother can let her child get hurt and go through a painful experience...without finding a reasonable explanation...or a logical reason...or even the right to let such a thing happen...Why: thats the question.
R. I've been so worried about her all year long. I've been trying to find reasons behind the sad look in her eyes..her social withdrawal..her silence..I thought this might be just a 'symptom' which does make sense..but deep inside..I felt something was wrong..really wrong..and I realized that even more today.
It was an ordinary day. I was feeling over-happy to see the kids and all. I saw R sitting just by the door. I waved to her and then she went with the PT to the hospital for some check-ups. When she came back, I gave her a big hug and played with her hair. There were the marks on her cheeks. 3 huge hand prints, full of anger, marked right there like its challenging me. Giving me a wake-up call. Slapping me right onto my face. I was so confused. I immediately started crying, not aware of how to react.
First thing: call the mother. Not picking up. Second: call the aunt. Not picking up. Third: call the police. The director didn't think that it was a good idea. I just took my camera and took pictures of the marks. Never thought that my student's profile will ever save such images of cruelty between the colorful pages that are splashed with paint and beautiful memories.
I was crying all day. I couldn't think right. For a moment, I felt like I had to take her back home with me. I asked the director to handle it from there. I knew I wasn't feeling well.
The story might sound like it ended here, but it left me with questions. Who? Why? Why? Why! This incident marked a new chapter in my career. It created a whole new aspect of teaching. I was never ready. I never thought I should prepare myself for that. But from now on, I do feel like a different teacher. A teacher who should not only teach. A teacher who should be a voice for her silent class.
Its interesting how looks and words could be deceiving. Its even more interesting how people can hide beneath a carefully polished surface to make them look more socially accepted or appreciated. Whats not interesting is how a mother can let her child get hurt and go through a painful experience...without finding a reasonable explanation...or a logical reason...or even the right to let such a thing happen...Why: thats the question.
R. I've been so worried about her all year long. I've been trying to find reasons behind the sad look in her eyes..her social withdrawal..her silence..I thought this might be just a 'symptom' which does make sense..but deep inside..I felt something was wrong..really wrong..and I realized that even more today.
It was an ordinary day. I was feeling over-happy to see the kids and all. I saw R sitting just by the door. I waved to her and then she went with the PT to the hospital for some check-ups. When she came back, I gave her a big hug and played with her hair. There were the marks on her cheeks. 3 huge hand prints, full of anger, marked right there like its challenging me. Giving me a wake-up call. Slapping me right onto my face. I was so confused. I immediately started crying, not aware of how to react.
First thing: call the mother. Not picking up. Second: call the aunt. Not picking up. Third: call the police. The director didn't think that it was a good idea. I just took my camera and took pictures of the marks. Never thought that my student's profile will ever save such images of cruelty between the colorful pages that are splashed with paint and beautiful memories.
I was crying all day. I couldn't think right. For a moment, I felt like I had to take her back home with me. I asked the director to handle it from there. I knew I wasn't feeling well.
The story might sound like it ended here, but it left me with questions. Who? Why? Why? Why! This incident marked a new chapter in my career. It created a whole new aspect of teaching. I was never ready. I never thought I should prepare myself for that. But from now on, I do feel like a different teacher. A teacher who should not only teach. A teacher who should be a voice for her silent class.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
time out
Things are going pretty fast at school. The year has come to an end in no time. I'm going through the "oh my goodness I haven't accomplished a thing" kinda phase coz I'm looking at the unfilled part of the glass right now. Anyways, so my plan for the upcoming month is to practice the set of goals that were accomplished by the students in order to be able to write a complete assessment of where they will be standing by the end of the year. I am also planning to create a work portfolio for each student with samples of the work and lots of pictures of them!
G: el7imdilla. G is not going anywhere! She will stay in my class, but I'll have to arrange a special schedule for her in order for her to be able to socialize with students from other sections. I was hoping to accomplish more with regards to her IEP since I see her as a very bright gurl. But unfortunately, time was limited and I just understood what her case is about. Ofcourse I'm still worried about her since there is a possibility that she would get totally blind--in this case, she will be treated as a deaf-blind student which will make her very difficult to handle.
R: Compared to the rest of the students, R showed the least amount of progress due to her very long period of absence, her family's dishonesty, and because her case hasn't been clear to me whatsoever. I just found out that she is diagnosed with Agenesis of Corpus Callosum, which in brief refers to the absence of hundreds of millions of nerve tissues that connect the right and left hemispheres of the brain. I was shocked coz I have been studying about how to stimulate the interaction between the 2 hemispheres back in UNI. Now, I'm working with a student who doesn't even have it. Part of it was a relief since I was nearly going crazy about not knowing the reason behind her social withdrawal. ACC has so much to do with that which is the reason why she is not able to perceive facial expressions and social cues. Her next year's IEP would be totally different.
A: He has changed A LOT since the beginning of the year! I can't wait until the end so that I could read the very first post about him. There is NO SPITTING not in school..not at home. He used much of his 'stored' language which is very positive. He washes his hands, and put his shoes on all by himself. And he also matches colors! I'm so proud of him. He turned out to be an achievement instead of a failure.
H: My baby has also changed so much. She is very social, always smiling, loves being around her teachers and friends. She somehow knows the basic colors (red, blue, yellow, green). Her language improved! I'm just confused about her mental state. I've always believed in her, and I truely believe that she is in a normal mental condition but has been affected by environmental factors that has lowered it. However, others can't see that. I'm not sure if I'm only being sensitive about it which makes me not able to be as objective as others.
G: el7imdilla. G is not going anywhere! She will stay in my class, but I'll have to arrange a special schedule for her in order for her to be able to socialize with students from other sections. I was hoping to accomplish more with regards to her IEP since I see her as a very bright gurl. But unfortunately, time was limited and I just understood what her case is about. Ofcourse I'm still worried about her since there is a possibility that she would get totally blind--in this case, she will be treated as a deaf-blind student which will make her very difficult to handle.
R: Compared to the rest of the students, R showed the least amount of progress due to her very long period of absence, her family's dishonesty, and because her case hasn't been clear to me whatsoever. I just found out that she is diagnosed with Agenesis of Corpus Callosum, which in brief refers to the absence of hundreds of millions of nerve tissues that connect the right and left hemispheres of the brain. I was shocked coz I have been studying about how to stimulate the interaction between the 2 hemispheres back in UNI. Now, I'm working with a student who doesn't even have it. Part of it was a relief since I was nearly going crazy about not knowing the reason behind her social withdrawal. ACC has so much to do with that which is the reason why she is not able to perceive facial expressions and social cues. Her next year's IEP would be totally different.
A: He has changed A LOT since the beginning of the year! I can't wait until the end so that I could read the very first post about him. There is NO SPITTING not in school..not at home. He used much of his 'stored' language which is very positive. He washes his hands, and put his shoes on all by himself. And he also matches colors! I'm so proud of him. He turned out to be an achievement instead of a failure.
H: My baby has also changed so much. She is very social, always smiling, loves being around her teachers and friends. She somehow knows the basic colors (red, blue, yellow, green). Her language improved! I'm just confused about her mental state. I've always believed in her, and I truely believe that she is in a normal mental condition but has been affected by environmental factors that has lowered it. However, others can't see that. I'm not sure if I'm only being sensitive about it which makes me not able to be as objective as others.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
hidden
I have spoken once about the kind of discrimination happening at our center, which has made me finally give up my favorite student in the universe: G. Well, the unfairness is still going on, and on. I don't really understand. How can you be discriminated against in the only place you belong to. In the only place you're supposed to be EQUAL to others. I think its an issue that has never been at any other center. I don't want to believe that it is actually happening elsewhere, coz if thats the case, then we're waaaaaaaaaaaay behind inclusion.
When I first joined the center, I entered my classroom, which was full of spider webs, mosquitos, and dust. I had no tools to use, so I had to either create my own, or beg for some tools in other sections, borrow, or receive donations from my niece. I painted my walls, re-arranged the tables and chairs, and cleaned every corner of the classroom. No one really cared about whether I'm teaching or not. Whether I'm being productive or not. Whether my students are learning or not. The only thing that mattered was hiring a teacher for the poor little pathetic physically challenged section. To act as a babysitter while they leave the classroom for their therapy sessions.
I was actually trying my best to erase the past and start all over again, but I can't shut up while watching the other sections receiving the best reading books, when we get the left overs. I can't shut up when I see visitors going to the other sections, playing with their children, when we are always the hidden ones. The ones who shouldn't really appear except on tv's in order to look pathetic and represent the patheticness of people in the area of special needs. I can't shut up when others get the permission to buy new furniture from the ministry's budget, when we had to use whatever's available and live with it.
What brought up all those memories was the last normal school visit to our center. We were promised 3 times that normal children will be visiting us and playing with our children. Everytime we had to wait, and our children had to wait, until we actually saw them leaving the school's gate. I talked to the psychologist about it, and I didn't really know that she was responsible for those visits. She smiled out of shame, and gave fake excuses. One of the excuses was that a little girl cried and got so scared once she 'passed' by our section and saw one of our students.
Now this brings up another topic. Is it our fault if our children does not understand differences in others? Or is it the schools' fault for not explaining the concept "Individual Differences" to their students?
It was so painful. It hurt me so much that others can't see the beauty of our children.
When I first joined the center, I entered my classroom, which was full of spider webs, mosquitos, and dust. I had no tools to use, so I had to either create my own, or beg for some tools in other sections, borrow, or receive donations from my niece. I painted my walls, re-arranged the tables and chairs, and cleaned every corner of the classroom. No one really cared about whether I'm teaching or not. Whether I'm being productive or not. Whether my students are learning or not. The only thing that mattered was hiring a teacher for the poor little pathetic physically challenged section. To act as a babysitter while they leave the classroom for their therapy sessions.
I was actually trying my best to erase the past and start all over again, but I can't shut up while watching the other sections receiving the best reading books, when we get the left overs. I can't shut up when I see visitors going to the other sections, playing with their children, when we are always the hidden ones. The ones who shouldn't really appear except on tv's in order to look pathetic and represent the patheticness of people in the area of special needs. I can't shut up when others get the permission to buy new furniture from the ministry's budget, when we had to use whatever's available and live with it.
What brought up all those memories was the last normal school visit to our center. We were promised 3 times that normal children will be visiting us and playing with our children. Everytime we had to wait, and our children had to wait, until we actually saw them leaving the school's gate. I talked to the psychologist about it, and I didn't really know that she was responsible for those visits. She smiled out of shame, and gave fake excuses. One of the excuses was that a little girl cried and got so scared once she 'passed' by our section and saw one of our students.
Now this brings up another topic. Is it our fault if our children does not understand differences in others? Or is it the schools' fault for not explaining the concept "Individual Differences" to their students?
It was so painful. It hurt me so much that others can't see the beauty of our children.
REHAB 2008
I have been, VERY LUCKILY, selected by the Ministry of Social Affairs to attend REHAB 2008--Dubai International Rehabilitation Forum, under the title: Beyond Inclusion & Partnership.
At the beginning I was informed that the Ministry is supposedly paying 5 thousand Dhs for us to attend. Exaggeration. A very usual thing that I see every single day at the center AND ministry. Ofcourse we were not allowed to attend the conference at the beginning since no one has yet paid that GREAT amount of money. Again, a very expected thing. It turned out to be an amount of 370 Dhs only. Too much to pay for knowledge.
Anyways, it was somehow good. Some of the speakers were interesting. The organisation of the whole thing was perfect. I expected more of the exhibition, but I found an amazing assistive device that could help H to live a more productive life. The ministry's booth was very boring..not that interesting..poor quality. They spoke of things that were mostly only written on papers. They kept on talking and talking about the so-called law. Their powerpoint slides were OVERLOADED with words and letters.
What I really found interesting was the Sultan Bin Abdulaziz Humanitarian City booth and the KSA guest speakers in general. The booth was FULL of professionals from the field who actually work at special needs centers. Saudi teachers, Saudi therapists, Saudi administrators. Their presentations were so perfect. I've also met the first Art Therapist in the Arab World who is also from the KSA which was interesting. Maybe I should type a post about Creative Art Therapies that are being used elsewhere since a long time, but no one has spoken about such therapies yet in our region.
Overall, I concluded the whole thing in few points:
1. the ministry should stop blabbing and start taking actions
2. we REALLY need more professionals in the field who are U.A.E. nationals
3. people should appreciate and encourage the U.A.E.'s "baby steps" towards a better integration of people with special needs, instead of only mentioning the negatives
4. maryam noor must be banned from entering Dubai ever again for her whole entire pathetic life
5. we have a number of organisations and centers for special needs in the U.A.E. (private & government). if we all stick together, we will certainly be the change. unfortunately, what i have only seen between us is negative competition over fundings, donations, and different projects.
6. i would certainly encourage exchanging knowledge and experiences amongst professionals in the field through trips, more conferences, and perhaps create a forum for us to be a part of.
At the beginning I was informed that the Ministry is supposedly paying 5 thousand Dhs for us to attend. Exaggeration. A very usual thing that I see every single day at the center AND ministry. Ofcourse we were not allowed to attend the conference at the beginning since no one has yet paid that GREAT amount of money. Again, a very expected thing. It turned out to be an amount of 370 Dhs only. Too much to pay for knowledge.
Anyways, it was somehow good. Some of the speakers were interesting. The organisation of the whole thing was perfect. I expected more of the exhibition, but I found an amazing assistive device that could help H to live a more productive life. The ministry's booth was very boring..not that interesting..poor quality. They spoke of things that were mostly only written on papers. They kept on talking and talking about the so-called law. Their powerpoint slides were OVERLOADED with words and letters.
What I really found interesting was the Sultan Bin Abdulaziz Humanitarian City booth and the KSA guest speakers in general. The booth was FULL of professionals from the field who actually work at special needs centers. Saudi teachers, Saudi therapists, Saudi administrators. Their presentations were so perfect. I've also met the first Art Therapist in the Arab World who is also from the KSA which was interesting. Maybe I should type a post about Creative Art Therapies that are being used elsewhere since a long time, but no one has spoken about such therapies yet in our region.
Overall, I concluded the whole thing in few points:
1. the ministry should stop blabbing and start taking actions
2. we REALLY need more professionals in the field who are U.A.E. nationals
3. people should appreciate and encourage the U.A.E.'s "baby steps" towards a better integration of people with special needs, instead of only mentioning the negatives
4. maryam noor must be banned from entering Dubai ever again for her whole entire pathetic life
5. we have a number of organisations and centers for special needs in the U.A.E. (private & government). if we all stick together, we will certainly be the change. unfortunately, what i have only seen between us is negative competition over fundings, donations, and different projects.
6. i would certainly encourage exchanging knowledge and experiences amongst professionals in the field through trips, more conferences, and perhaps create a forum for us to be a part of.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
appreciate life
M: "Do you know why I'm shaky?"
Teacher: "Why?"
M: "Because Allah loves me."
M is a young girl who has been diagnosed with Adrenoleukodystrophy: a genetic disease that eventually leads to death. Months ago, she was a happy little girl who's abssessed with the color PINK. Her pinky jacket reflected on her cheeks and lips, making her smile an unforgettable one. She speaks perfect English, and her cognitive skills are just great. She was the spoiled one in class.
Now, M's condition has got so much worse. She can barely sit on her wheelchair for an hour. The pinky-ness faded away, being replaced by a pale yellow color, and black circles around her eyes. You can barely understand her attempts to speak, and she struggles to breath. Her smile has dissapeared. You feel like she's slowly letting go of life as she asks others to hug her, and kiss her, telling them that she loves them so much. Perhaps its her way of saying goodbye...
Now the challenge we're facing is: telling her mother that M needs to rest at home and stop coming to school. She has been told before, but M's mother gave fake excuses such as M being a spoiled girl, or how much she loves sleeping, and so on. But at the same time, she is not the one to blame. She already lost a son with the same disease, and she's just hanging on to her little surviving one.
Teaching a dieing student. I can't explain the situation we, as teachers, are currently in. Sometimes I feel like M needs to rest, its just too much for her to be coming to school every single day. At other other times, I think of how she might be feeling alone at home waiting for her time to die. What a feeling. But as M said, it's because Allah loves her.
Teacher: "Why?"
M: "Because Allah loves me."
M is a young girl who has been diagnosed with Adrenoleukodystrophy: a genetic disease that eventually leads to death. Months ago, she was a happy little girl who's abssessed with the color PINK. Her pinky jacket reflected on her cheeks and lips, making her smile an unforgettable one. She speaks perfect English, and her cognitive skills are just great. She was the spoiled one in class.
Now, M's condition has got so much worse. She can barely sit on her wheelchair for an hour. The pinky-ness faded away, being replaced by a pale yellow color, and black circles around her eyes. You can barely understand her attempts to speak, and she struggles to breath. Her smile has dissapeared. You feel like she's slowly letting go of life as she asks others to hug her, and kiss her, telling them that she loves them so much. Perhaps its her way of saying goodbye...
Now the challenge we're facing is: telling her mother that M needs to rest at home and stop coming to school. She has been told before, but M's mother gave fake excuses such as M being a spoiled girl, or how much she loves sleeping, and so on. But at the same time, she is not the one to blame. She already lost a son with the same disease, and she's just hanging on to her little surviving one.
Teaching a dieing student. I can't explain the situation we, as teachers, are currently in. Sometimes I feel like M needs to rest, its just too much for her to be coming to school every single day. At other other times, I think of how she might be feeling alone at home waiting for her time to die. What a feeling. But as M said, it's because Allah loves her.
an exceptional..
Reading about him made me optimistic again about our generation. The possibility of having U.A.E. nationals who are dedicated to our own community. Who feel responsible about raising important issues that touches the lives of other people--with and without special needs equally. It made me wonder about reasons why would a 21 year old young man spend much hard time and effort to help other individuals whom he probaby haven't even met. But there was no answer to my questions. I believe that people who dedicate themselves for others listen to their inner voice that comes from their heart. The voice I hear all the time.
Jalal Jamal Bin Thaneya, The towering hero, as he is called by a reporter from City Times.
He climbed up and down the stairs of 100 high rise towers in Dubai in 13 days. He scaled 8 to 10 tall buildings everyday, from 9 in the morning till midnight. He went through lots of pressure and hardships: lack of air in the stairwells, walking through smoking lounges and waste disposal areas, and management problems. On the other hand, it all paid off as he thought of children with special needs and how they were misunderstood. He considered his possible failure in this project as letting down his whole country.
Such an exceptional individual deserves all respect. He makes us, and his own country, proud. He, supposedly, acts as a role model for others to look up to. If he was in the U.S.A., he'd probably be on the Oprah show. However, thats our response:
"JALAL BIN Thaneya, a 21-year-old Emirati college student, has emerged as a scarred hero, lionised by the public and ridiculed by peers."
"he probably got more brickbats than bouquets for his extraordinary feat. "
"Another disappointment was that several people had promised to join him in his climb for a day or two, to give him company. But no one appeared, barring just two..."
"he said: I got harsh criticism before, during and after the event."
"its goal of raising money for the children was being perceived as a frivolous game."
"And now I found myself being misunderstood. Many people laughed at me and said why are you playing around."
"Sadly, I didn’t get the same support from most of my countrymen."
"he thought that I was just a fool playing a stupid game"
It left me speechless, hopeless, and hurt. But being part of the field taught me to never expect appreciation from others. Appreciation and gratitude is seen through the eyes of the children themselves.
"Emiratis are unique individuals. It’s time they came out and expressed themselves."--The towering hero
Jalal Jamal Bin Thaneya, The towering hero, as he is called by a reporter from City Times.
He climbed up and down the stairs of 100 high rise towers in Dubai in 13 days. He scaled 8 to 10 tall buildings everyday, from 9 in the morning till midnight. He went through lots of pressure and hardships: lack of air in the stairwells, walking through smoking lounges and waste disposal areas, and management problems. On the other hand, it all paid off as he thought of children with special needs and how they were misunderstood. He considered his possible failure in this project as letting down his whole country.
Such an exceptional individual deserves all respect. He makes us, and his own country, proud. He, supposedly, acts as a role model for others to look up to. If he was in the U.S.A., he'd probably be on the Oprah show. However, thats our response:
"JALAL BIN Thaneya, a 21-year-old Emirati college student, has emerged as a scarred hero, lionised by the public and ridiculed by peers."
"he probably got more brickbats than bouquets for his extraordinary feat. "
"Another disappointment was that several people had promised to join him in his climb for a day or two, to give him company. But no one appeared, barring just two..."
"he said: I got harsh criticism before, during and after the event."
"its goal of raising money for the children was being perceived as a frivolous game."
"And now I found myself being misunderstood. Many people laughed at me and said why are you playing around."
"Sadly, I didn’t get the same support from most of my countrymen."
"he thought that I was just a fool playing a stupid game"
It left me speechless, hopeless, and hurt. But being part of the field taught me to never expect appreciation from others. Appreciation and gratitude is seen through the eyes of the children themselves.
"Emiratis are unique individuals. It’s time they came out and expressed themselves."--The towering hero
Monday, January 14, 2008
courage, hope, and love
After meeting her, I had to think for a minute and imagine being in her shoes. A powerful young lady, who has managed to get through her school years, and earn a high school degree. Despite her physical challenge, and severe deformities, she managed to be part of the real world.
Aisha is a story of courage, hope, and love. Through courage, she faced the world on a wheelchair that she controls using 2 of her toes. Through hope, she earned her high school degree aiming to continue her higher education. Through love, she surrounded herself with people who believed in her, and tried every possible way to push her forward and provide her with a life of a normal human being.
The sad chapter of Aisha's story begins after high school. She graduated from high school, and her battle started in order to get admitted at the Higher Colleges of Technology, which is supposedly under the government of the UAE. Aisha was rejected once, twice.... Reasons were: no available bus, no available assisstive equipment ........
A dream of a local U.A.E. citizen has been broken into pieces because of a bus and equipment. Yes, here in the city of gold. Yes, here in the city that donates billions to help people in other countries. Yes, here in the city where everything is possible. In Dubai. She was deprived of her right to a high quality education because it just didn't matter. It was her time to wake up.
I will not comment on Aisha's story, because I do believe that there are more chapters to come. Chapters of struggle and endless battles. Chapters of achievements and dreams coming true. Chapters that reflect happiness and victory. I do see it coming because of courage, hope, and love that she still hangs on to.
Aisha is a story of courage, hope, and love. Through courage, she faced the world on a wheelchair that she controls using 2 of her toes. Through hope, she earned her high school degree aiming to continue her higher education. Through love, she surrounded herself with people who believed in her, and tried every possible way to push her forward and provide her with a life of a normal human being.
The sad chapter of Aisha's story begins after high school. She graduated from high school, and her battle started in order to get admitted at the Higher Colleges of Technology, which is supposedly under the government of the UAE. Aisha was rejected once, twice.... Reasons were: no available bus, no available assisstive equipment ........
A dream of a local U.A.E. citizen has been broken into pieces because of a bus and equipment. Yes, here in the city of gold. Yes, here in the city that donates billions to help people in other countries. Yes, here in the city where everything is possible. In Dubai. She was deprived of her right to a high quality education because it just didn't matter. It was her time to wake up.
I will not comment on Aisha's story, because I do believe that there are more chapters to come. Chapters of struggle and endless battles. Chapters of achievements and dreams coming true. Chapters that reflect happiness and victory. I do see it coming because of courage, hope, and love that she still hangs on to.
misleading thoughts
el7imdilla. Today I finished MEETING (2) which was with R's parents. Or in other words, R's mother and stepfather.
I did notice an improvement in the way I presented the IEP as I explained in details every goal, how am I planning to achieve each goal, and how can family support at home contribute to the development of each skill I've chosen for R. Her parents were very interested in helping out with whatever they can. Although this point could be very misleading, since its not their first time to show such interest. However, they did discover a lot of things about their daughter which wasn't really surprising to me. I also noticed that her mother is not as close to R. She's always busy and doesn't know much about her behavior or level. It occured to me that her stepfather is her 'primary caregiver', with all respect to the mommy. I think its really nice of him to put such great effort in order to take care of R and understand her. He also believes in her.
We concluded this meeting with insisting on attendance, cooperation, and successful communication between home & school.
What I loved the most about the meeting was the 'introducing PECS' part. I had a long word document infront of my eyes with long explanations about PECS, since I was pretty sure that I did not understand PECS completely. I was impressed. Its like I had the book saved somewhere in my memory. Its like I was reading from the book, translating it into Arabic immediately, and actually dicussing it with those who were in the meeting. Loved it! BUT...I really...really...really...hated the way the OT jumped into the whole discussion, making it sound like she is part of the PECS 'team'. Ofcourse I never want to be that kind of person: selfish, creates fake achievements, admire fame. But its like I had a plan in mind about how I'm supposed to introduce PECS to R's parents. I mean ofcourse there should be some kind of cooperative meetings amongst team members. But she was explaining the use of PECS in a different way because she hasn't even read the PECS book nor she discussed it with me first. Which messed up some parts of the plan.
Anyways, I'm so proud of myself. I was much stronger today, and I really hope Insha'Allah that I keep on improving in the coming meetingS.
I did notice an improvement in the way I presented the IEP as I explained in details every goal, how am I planning to achieve each goal, and how can family support at home contribute to the development of each skill I've chosen for R. Her parents were very interested in helping out with whatever they can. Although this point could be very misleading, since its not their first time to show such interest. However, they did discover a lot of things about their daughter which wasn't really surprising to me. I also noticed that her mother is not as close to R. She's always busy and doesn't know much about her behavior or level. It occured to me that her stepfather is her 'primary caregiver', with all respect to the mommy. I think its really nice of him to put such great effort in order to take care of R and understand her. He also believes in her.
We concluded this meeting with insisting on attendance, cooperation, and successful communication between home & school.
What I loved the most about the meeting was the 'introducing PECS' part. I had a long word document infront of my eyes with long explanations about PECS, since I was pretty sure that I did not understand PECS completely. I was impressed. Its like I had the book saved somewhere in my memory. Its like I was reading from the book, translating it into Arabic immediately, and actually dicussing it with those who were in the meeting. Loved it! BUT...I really...really...really...hated the way the OT jumped into the whole discussion, making it sound like she is part of the PECS 'team'. Ofcourse I never want to be that kind of person: selfish, creates fake achievements, admire fame. But its like I had a plan in mind about how I'm supposed to introduce PECS to R's parents. I mean ofcourse there should be some kind of cooperative meetings amongst team members. But she was explaining the use of PECS in a different way because she hasn't even read the PECS book nor she discussed it with me first. Which messed up some parts of the plan.
Anyways, I'm so proud of myself. I was much stronger today, and I really hope Insha'Allah that I keep on improving in the coming meetingS.
expectations
Today was my first IEP meeting with H's parents and the rest of the team members--principle, social advisor, psychologist, occupational therapist, physiotherapist, and speech therapist.
I was really nervous and shaking the whole time. I kept on reminding myself that I am 'the' teacher, I must speak up, I should run the meeting and give my opinion in every single thing. And I did! I did explain my IEP goals and why I have chosen each. Although I should admit that it was kinda brief, but its probably because of being nervous. I explained to them the different strategies I'm using with H and they were really interested in what I had to say. I was glad!
Later on, it was the therapists turn. They stated facts regarding H's condition, and a proper diagnosis of her case--cerebral palsy. It was really hard to see their face expressions as the therapists went on and on talking about why H will never walk, why is she never going to improve dramatically, why is it important to set expectations. H's parents seemed lost, in shock, dissapointed. Or maybe they have known all these facts. It was just harder to hear it coming from someone else.
After we all talked, it was the parents turn. They saw that H has changed from all aspects. She is more social. She uses her hands more often. She shows initiation. She's always smiling. And she loves school, especially her teacher! They thanked me and said really nice Dou'aa. Hearing that coming from them touched my heart and I felt like crying from happiness. I know H is going to get better, even if it was through tiny little steps. I know because I can feel her, even if she can not talk or move. I can directly understand her through looking at her cute little eyes.
This is Special Education. Maybe I will never be appreciated by the principle. Maybe I will hate being a teacher at some point. Maybe I will go through times when I will be crying all alone, feeling lost. But such moments always make a difference. It makes the whole experience worth living. It makes teaching so rewarding, that you can't even describe it through words. It gives you this ticklish feeling that comes directly from your heart and spreads throughout your body. It makes you feel alive.
I was really nervous and shaking the whole time. I kept on reminding myself that I am 'the' teacher, I must speak up, I should run the meeting and give my opinion in every single thing. And I did! I did explain my IEP goals and why I have chosen each. Although I should admit that it was kinda brief, but its probably because of being nervous. I explained to them the different strategies I'm using with H and they were really interested in what I had to say. I was glad!
Later on, it was the therapists turn. They stated facts regarding H's condition, and a proper diagnosis of her case--cerebral palsy. It was really hard to see their face expressions as the therapists went on and on talking about why H will never walk, why is she never going to improve dramatically, why is it important to set expectations. H's parents seemed lost, in shock, dissapointed. Or maybe they have known all these facts. It was just harder to hear it coming from someone else.
After we all talked, it was the parents turn. They saw that H has changed from all aspects. She is more social. She uses her hands more often. She shows initiation. She's always smiling. And she loves school, especially her teacher! They thanked me and said really nice Dou'aa. Hearing that coming from them touched my heart and I felt like crying from happiness. I know H is going to get better, even if it was through tiny little steps. I know because I can feel her, even if she can not talk or move. I can directly understand her through looking at her cute little eyes.
This is Special Education. Maybe I will never be appreciated by the principle. Maybe I will hate being a teacher at some point. Maybe I will go through times when I will be crying all alone, feeling lost. But such moments always make a difference. It makes the whole experience worth living. It makes teaching so rewarding, that you can't even describe it through words. It gives you this ticklish feeling that comes directly from your heart and spreads throughout your body. It makes you feel alive.
my special world
I've been blogging since a year or so. I've shared my feelings, moments of despair, happiness, dreams, and goals. And it did work out well for me. Now, I have decided to divide my life and expose my special world. My world where everything is possible. Where every individual must be part of it and thank Allah for all the ni3am He gave us. Where all the sadness surrounding you fades away with a smile coming from one of them.
This special world is simply a world viewed from the eyes of a teacher. And I, the teacher, see the world through the eyes of my 4 most adorable students. G, H, R, and A. G who has been diagnosed with CHARGE syndrome. H, R, & A have been diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy with varrying degrees. But in any case, I am against labeling.
The reason why I created this blog is first to help, in a way, to raise awareness about children with special needs, and maybe change some people's wrong ideas that stand against them. Another reason is to refer back to my blog in order to aid in the assessment process in relation to their abilities, how they've grown throughout the semester, and maybe record the changes that occur or will occur in the upcoming days. And thirdly, to give an insight of what its like to be in a special needs center in DUBAI, and explore a world of possibilities and magic! This is how I see it. A place where the blind, deaf, physically challenged, and intellectualy challenged come together to form one community that respects differences in others.
Welcome to my very special world!
This special world is simply a world viewed from the eyes of a teacher. And I, the teacher, see the world through the eyes of my 4 most adorable students. G, H, R, and A. G who has been diagnosed with CHARGE syndrome. H, R, & A have been diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy with varrying degrees. But in any case, I am against labeling.
The reason why I created this blog is first to help, in a way, to raise awareness about children with special needs, and maybe change some people's wrong ideas that stand against them. Another reason is to refer back to my blog in order to aid in the assessment process in relation to their abilities, how they've grown throughout the semester, and maybe record the changes that occur or will occur in the upcoming days. And thirdly, to give an insight of what its like to be in a special needs center in DUBAI, and explore a world of possibilities and magic! This is how I see it. A place where the blind, deaf, physically challenged, and intellectualy challenged come together to form one community that respects differences in others.
Welcome to my very special world!
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Term (2)
Today, 6th of January 2008, is supposed to be the beginning of the second term at my skool. I'm kinda having the 'butterflies' feeling but in a different way. One thing I really hate about myself is FEAR OF FAILURE. I mean even if I fail, it IS still a learning experience ..isn't it? I guess its normal to feel like a lousy teacher, I hope it is. But above all, I think my greatest success of my first academic year will be learning how to love my students from all my heart. And I'm still hoping for more "successes" !! So for this semester, I have new goals. I'll try to make it brief, simple, and realistic!!
First, achieve at least 50% of the IEP goals that I set for my students.
Second, focus on teaching, teaching, teaching, and ONLY teaching.
Third, avoid distractions.
Fourth, improve the physical environment of my classroom.
Fifth, use PECS effectively.
and thats it!!
Anyways, I really miss my four children and CAN'T WAIT to give them the huge-est biggest hug of the year.
First, achieve at least 50% of the IEP goals that I set for my students.
Second, focus on teaching, teaching, teaching, and ONLY teaching.
Third, avoid distractions.
Fourth, improve the physical environment of my classroom.
Fifth, use PECS effectively.
and thats it!!
Anyways, I really miss my four children and CAN'T WAIT to give them the huge-est biggest hug of the year.
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